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The future death of William Shakespeare …

December 26th, 2008 · 280 Comments

Well-educated American children are well-indoctrinated of the everlasting genius of William Shakespeare’s work. We are told regularly that his work is one of the pinnacles of the written form. We eventually believe this as dispensed.  We may not read Shakespeare, we may rarely see his work performed, but we don’t doubt the concept.

Sure enough, the brainwashing eventually comes from within our ranks, as a friend or formerly-trusted associate somehow comes into contact with the deeper meanings of Shakespeare and then freshly rinses our minds to the genius of the Master’s words. Or else a dashing and bold filmmaker and acting crew lights up one of the multiplex theaters with a new interpretation, and we are then told of the genius within, if only we would be willing to forego our comedy or action-adventure for one weekend movie event.

It’s all a lie of course. Shakespeare is losing his grasp of the hearts and minds. We’re witnessing the rarification of hhis work. Sure, any good actor wants a part of one of these interpretations, a trophy for the acting shelf. But when the viewing public gets a whiff, we’re typically forced to lie. We tell the world of the genius we witnessed, perhaps remember a few memorable scraps of Shakepearian wit. Sometimes we even find our way though the increasingly-impenetrable langauge to find ourself absorbed by the human tragedy and comedy.

The properly brainwashed propograte the next generation. And then through the classrooms and film production meetings, the lie continues.

Is it really all subterfuge? Does Shakespeare really suck? No, Shakespeare is genius, as any extended study of his work shows. But his language becomes increasingly impenetrable as contemporary English evolves leaving Shakespearing English stranded on a literary Galapagos. And like most islands, the only ones able to visit are the ones who can afford the luxury of an extended vacation from the fryline at the fast-food restaurant or the stock-room at the local big box store. That is, kids on their daddy’s dime that are able to pursue advanced study, or else actors who are wealthy enough (or hungry enough) to methodize themselves into 16th-century life.

Contemporary William Shakespeare perfomances are done in one of three ways:

1. The BLT – Generally unknown performers act their little hearts out to give the Master his due. These are typically done in local theaters with slight budgets. Shakespeare is royalty-free, and it carries street-cred, which makes it idea for well-meaning cheapskates.

2. The Club Sandwich – Big name, high-salary performers are tossed into a pet project which drips with high-end set-design, cinematography, lighting design and marketing. Every media moguls have a nephew somewhere that finances one of these, in an attempt to strongarm the viewing public into a new appreciation for their Master’s work. These are usually released with great critical acclaim, but are then shown on late-night television a few years later, usually due to the over-the-top performances of one or more cast members that ruin the  effort.

3. The Tofurkey on Rye – These adaptations make an honest go of Shakespeare, and rewrite word and setting. The vehicle could be a robot wedding party in a situation comedy or two jive-talking lovers a space station. Thes use Shakespeare’s plot developments without using his language. Is that Shakespeare or some reasonable facsimile?

What will happen with the Master’s work in another few hundred years? The islands will drift futher from land, become ever more difficult to reach. The English language will continue to change until Shakespeare becomes a bit more tangible than Beowulf, but only a bit. Only the last sandwich will have a chance of survival, but it could as easily be an adaptation of Gilgamesh as it is Romeo.

But the damage is already upon us. A few hundred years ago, Shakespeare’s words captured the imaginations of wealthy and poor, bakers and kings. Today, a few very sexy actors and post-doc students with tie-less blazers.

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